To begin with, it's Friday night and I've got nothing aprony.
After two days consisting of blood and puss and tears, I have a raging headache.
I think I will wrap a couple aprons around my head and tie a tourniquet to contain the pressure.
In brief, my son Wyatt split a tidy little gash in his head last night creating a Niagara falls-like gusher which streamed blood all down his neck and shirt.
My son is capable of deafening dolphins and dogs and I needed OSHA approved hearing protection while I doctored him. And since I was swabbing up Wyatt's blood Ella, my two year old, felt it necessary to scream about her alleged issues....
Not to be outdone, since she was deprived of attention, she had to start crying, "Sum tings biting my gyna!" Translation: Something is biting my vagina. What the??? That's an attention grabber now isn't it. By the way, everything was just fine down there. After a trip to the dock in the box and thankfully no stitches in Wyatt's head, it turned into a long evening...
Then today after 7 days of having a 3 legged horse, I finally called the vet out to work on what I knew must be an abscess in her foot. A hoof abscess is one of the MOST painful things for a horse. They literally can not stand on the bad foot and they shuffle the other three around trying to maneuver as to not touch their bad foot to the ground.... I had poulticed and duct taped and doctored accordingly, but to no avail and was beginning to think she had a broken bone in her foot. (And yes, duct tape is a staple supply in any equestrian medical kit...no, seriously.)
The vet arrives late Friday afternoon, examines, then take X-RAYS. (This is where you are supposed to be saying cha-ching as my money starts floating around in the breeze.) There were thankfully no fractures on the film but what looked like three abbesses. So there I was standing over the vet, trying not to hover annoyingly, watching him carve into the my horse's foot in search of a puss pocket. After 10 minutes of nothing, I was beginning to loose hope, BUT then I saw a black slimy patch in the hole that Dr.Vet was carving in the sole of my horses hoof. I knew we were only moments away from more filth and pestilence. And pow. Then the rest of the "problem" dumped out of the 1/4 inch hole in the mares foot. Phew.... She will feel much better Saturday, or today since I am writing this on Friday night. Yes, there is a bit of the twilight zone going on around here.
So I have no happy apron stories or joyful product review or nifty gadgets to gab about. I gotta go to sleep. ;(